Sunday, January 31, 2010

Hilda and Kimba's debate about sexual discrimination

I was studying at the Loyala library in New Orleans Louisianna, and pissed at myself for missing class. I hope Harvard isn't piss, but hey I'm catching up on my studies. I really don't know if looking at fail blog counts as studying, but who cares everyone is doing it. Anyways, i drank too many green tea and had to use the bathroom. I walked in and saw this girl dialing her little pink phone. I guess its a good idea to talk in the bathroom since it would be rude to talk in the library, how thoughtful of her. Then she walked into one of the bathroom stalls and closed the door. I was like ok maybe she wanted some privacy, that's understandable. However that is not the case!!!
Here's the convo, her phone was so loud that I can hear her and the person on the phone from two stalls away.

girl: hey Rick, how you doing
Rick: I'm good where are you
girl: I'm in the library
Rick: hey umm you wanna go out after the library
~girl starts peeing and farting really loud
girl: ok
Rick: ummm I think I'm busy, can't go bye
~girl walks out of the stall sobbing

I was in total shock, she just got asked out and rejected at the same time while peeing. That's just amazing, I mean what's next someone discover a cure for cancer while peeing. Anyways, I know for sure that if it was Rick in the stall talking on the phone, and it was his piss and big fart, there would still be a date tonight. Sigh, it's funny how society still operates on the notion that it's ok for a guy to fart and piss in front of a girl, but it's not ok when a girl does it. It's true that women are now allow to vote, express their opinions, and have a place in politics, but until women are allow to fart and pee in front of a guy with dignity, I'm sorry to say sexual discrimination have not improved.
Holy shiet my fiance's dog Kimba Hollowface Luk decided to debate against me. Fine bitch you are going down

Kimba: Hey I just read what you wrote on the blog
Hilda: really, what do you think about the whole topic
Kimba: Well I totally disagree with you and I want to say something
Hilda: why because you are dumb. You tried to fight with air and ran into the door instead. Well too bad you are not saying anything in this blog
Kimba: Grrrrrr Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Brandon: shut up Kimba
Hilda: fine I will allow you to say something, so you don't annoy me and Brandon
Kimba: Brandon think it's cute and adorable when I fart and he always praise me when I pee outside. Since I get so much approval for farting and peeing outside in front of him, and since I am a girl, therefore, sexual discrimination have improved.
Hilda: so umm does the tree know that you are having an affair with the ironing board?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Stilettos should be banned from the Library and the Hospital

I love Stilettos, they are classy, cute, and cutting edge. I wear them at the prom, dates, and anywhere that requires me to be stylish. However, I do not wear them at the library because that spells out "I'm an ugly girl that can't get guys anywhere so I'm hoping there's a nerd at the library who can't get any girls to notice me." Also, it's funny how girls think that guys will find stilettos sexy at all occasions. Well girls you are wrong!!! Imagine this, you are this hot guy studying in the library because you have a final to ace tomorrow. At that point your hormone level for sex is probably in the negative range. Then all of a sudden this hot ass girl come "catwalking" down the aisle with her gorgeous expensive Stilettos. Each sexy, luscious stomp she makes, fucks you up from your studying. It sucks having to hear this in your head "Norepinephrine brings out sympath stomp, stomp, stomp." So of course you are gonna look up to see who the fuck is making that noise, and believe me, your not gonna see a hot girl because you are too nervous about your final tomorrow. You are going to see this annoying, ugly, bitch with ugly disgusting shoes trying to ruin your final grade so you can lose your scholarship. Deep down you will want to fucken shoot that bitch and hang her despite the fact that you are a gentlemen. Then later on, you saw the same girl in coffee shop and she decided to walk up to you, to see if you notice her and her stilettos. At that point, you are probably boiled up, that once you get that coffee of yours, you just dump it on that bitch. Therefore, girls should never try to wear stilettos in the library because not only you will not get the guy, but he will hate you.

Alright, now the hospitals, where nurses, pharmacist, PA, RN, NP and whatever are all working together with the doc to save a patient's life. Now, there will always be some stupid bimbo that will wear stilettos to work. I don't know why, but I always see it when I worked in the hospital and when I'm studying in a hospital right now. They are fashionable and uncomfortable to wear to work. So if a girl is wearing stilettos to work, she definitively have some ulterior motive. In her little fantasy, she probably believes that she can attract some doctor or surgeon with something sexy, then date them, marry them, and never have to work again. Now, I am going to explain how this scheme will backfire. First and foremost, doctors care about going to the hospital, fixing the patient, and getting out of the hospital, therefore his hormone level for sex is in the negative range. Then all of a sudden the patient undergoes some kind of shock, he needs you and the team to get over there immediately. Since you are wearing those sexy ass Stilettos that are known for walking like a model, I think by the time you get there, the patient is dead already. Since this is a hospital, there will always be a shortage of staff so every little help counts. Now because of those killer shoes, the patient dies, and your hot ass doctor is piss. Believe me, doctors do get upset when they can't save a patient :(. Then he notice your little cute high heels, and the rest is history, you are never going to score a meal ticket with him :(.

Therefore ladies, keep your stilettos away from the library and the hospital.