Its me or the dog

Practically every young couple desires to own something that they can call their child. Unfortunately, they don't have the money to bring a special little person into the world, so they decided to do something different. Why not adopt an adorable little puppy and raise him or her to adulthood, and label him as your own son or daughter. The idea sounds wondrous, it will provide the young couple a chance to experience parenthood, but it will eventually lead to disaster.

My fiance and I were the hopeful, young couple who owns a dog named Kimba that we hope can be like our daughter, but that crap sure backfired on us. Kimba was more of a handful than any kid in the world, owning her does not make me feel sorry for Kate plus 8. Kate should feel sorry for us because Kimba equals to 20 kids, and I don't mean the nice kids that ace etiquette class, I mean the one's from Juvenile detention halls. I can go down the list of how Kimba turned my life upside down, but I rather spare the readers. Out of everything she have done, There was one thing she did that made me question if she was dog or another woman in my fiance's life.

Because we wanted Kimba to be just like a person, we end up treating her like one. We let her sleep on the bed with us, snuggle with us, eat with us, and go everywhere we go. At first, I thought everything was harmless, but things have gotten way out of control. I never in my life seen a dog strut herself like a run way model before, usually the only strutting my parent's dog does is running clumsily towards the wall. Kimba ultimately became the other woman in the relationship, she would snatch my fiance's attention whenever she can. Not to mention his parents were so fixated on her that they don't realize that their son was engaged to me, their future daughter in law. This was very disturbing the fact that a non-human being with short stubby tail, four legged, and massive drooling problems can replace me, someone who graduated from a reputable university, now doing her post-graduate at a top Ivy league school, and will be entering medical school and business school at the same time. The whole time, I was shock that all my accomplishment could be thrown out the window just because of a dog that is worth no more than three hundred dollars came into our lives. I was too determined to turn this dog into the daughter of my dreams that I decided to stick with the humiliation. Luckily, I eventually lost all my determination, I realize that my pride is worth more than this dog.

One exhausting night, I was getting ready for bed, but decided to let Kimba out so she can do her business before jumping on the bed. I opened the door and commanded her to go outside, but instead she snapped me and ran towards the bed. I was extremely angry, but held it in, I don't want my fiance to get mad at me. To make matters worse, he snuggled up in bed with her, and spooned her from behind. At that point, I was boiling inside and confused at the same time. I decided to walk out of the room and consult different people about this vexing and complicated situation.
I receive some strange and outrageous advice from friends and family. There was one advice where I should be best girl friends with Kimba so my fiance will feel awkward, that way he will start thinking about me. At first, I was so tempted to take this advice, but then I realize that "Kimba is a fucken dog, she's not worth it." I decided to move on to the next advice which was from my dad. My dad's advice was too extreme for me, he told me to send a picture of Kimba to him so he can search for a dog that looks exactly like her. Then once he finds a dog that is the exact replica of her, we will do a switch and ultimately get rid of Kimba and take this new Kimba look alike into our lives. I was on board, then I chickened out because I don't want my fiance to find out in the future, that could lead to a potential break up. Then I decided to ask my fiance's friend, and because they were guys, they all agree that hitting her constantly should do the job. They even volunteer to hit her for no reason, out of pleasure that they can hit her. However, I'm against animal cruelty, it's not my nature to hurt anything, even if it's evil. At that point, I was just ready to give up, but I didn't because I received an excellent advice and inside scoop on a dog's mind from a friend.
I called one of my friends back in California who was in the process of looking for a dog to adopt. She totally shook me on the shoulder through the phone and made sure I understand that Kimba was nothing more than a dog and should be treated like a dog. Apparently dogs label themselves through the usage of a pack system. The main orders are the dominant Alpha, the middle beta, and the weaker ones Omega. In Kimba's eyes she sees herself as the Alpha female and my fiance is her mate. Basically She thinks that she is the bitch who runs the show, and anyone who tries to get in her way, she will fight them away. After understanding this concept from my friend, I decided to approach this in a way that Kimba will understand. First I gave my fiance an ultimatum, if he still wants to be engaged to me drastic changes will be made with Kimba and I get to decide everything. Luckily guys think with their penis, he knows that he can not put anything inside a dog, so I ultimately ran the show. I yell at her whenever she gets on the bed and threaten to hit her whenever she disobeyed me, but I occasionally showed her some love. Just to add salt to the injury, I leave her outside at night with the windows visible so that she can watch my fiance and I sleep together or make love. My fiance eventually realize the damage that she had done to our relationship that he started treating her harshly. After a month of semi-abusiveness towards her, she finally turned into an Omega dog, and for reward, we let her sleep in the house, but not on the bed with us. Sometimes I feel bad for the poor dog, but seriously it doesn't have to be this way.


Through my experience with Kimba I came to the realization that dogs can never be treated like human beings. It's not because they don't deserve it, it's the fact that they see things differently than we do. We see comradeship, friendship, potential sons and daughters, and companionship, but they see rank order, stability, and survival. We can't blame them, it's in their DNA to survive in this world, but there's one thing that I know for sure is that they will always have love for us despite everthing.

Dumb Pet Comic

Dumb petsssssssssssss

Love and Smores

My fiance was playing with his fire pit yesterday and for some reason I can't get the thought of smores out of my head. Maybe it's because roasted marshmallows caramelize into big mooshy clouds that can be smothered with melted chocolate and sandwich between crunchy gram crackers. Everything so sweet like true love, so perfect, that melts in your mouth in a cold winter day. This kind of security and warmth that I swear to god will protect with my own life and for the rest of my life.
My thoughts of the day is distance. Say you met your perfect soulmate, but he or she is thousands of miles away. He or she is the missing puzzle piece to your puzzling life, but you turned him down. You're afraid that the distance would be too unbearable for you to handle, so you end up with a lover in the same school and city as you are. Next think you know, you have this empty hole in your heart that keeps growing and growing and growing. Then one day, you find your perfect soul mate in same place and time, but you can't do anything about it, because you are taken by convenience.

I met so many people that chooses convenience over true love because it's easy. Unfortunately, convenience doesn't make life meaningful. If we choose our true love despite the excruciating distance, at the end you will notice that the distance will get smaller and smaller. Eventually, words like wedding bells, tuxedo, best man, brides maid, wedding dress, wedding cake are written down on the list provided by your future wedding planner.

being a girl raised in a strict, conventional family, I often experience pressure by my family to just grab a random dude breathing next to me and call him my husband. Funny thing is that, if I ever tap a guy on the shoulder, my family will expect him to come over and discuss marriage. I find this mentality absurd and ridiculous. Love is beautiful and should be cherished between a man and a woman, not the family. Love should take time to develop just as it takes time for a rose to blossom. Unfortunately, love withers when strict, conventional family enters the picture.

If the stem on the rose is weak, a little blow from the wind would break the plant. Traditional asian Parents will always see their children as the art of perfection. They will always feel a sense of competition with their child's lover, so a flood of drama will definitely cut through your masterpiece. They will find every beautiful imperfection and deem it a life-threatening matter. Then after countless drama, you will end up losing the love of your life all because your parents find it a pleasure to be in control. This type of parental control addiction gives them the high that cocaine does for a drug addict.

The best way to introduce your man or woman to a traditional Asian family is after you have the ring and signed the marriage paper. Once your family meets him or her, they will know that they are powerless against the soul mate. After the marriage ceremony, allow the family to visit the lover once or twice a year. Anything more, you are just asking for a divorce paper.

I hope for any poor guy or gal with obsessive, frightening parents can read and cherish these advices. I also hope that for anybody out there who met the perfect light of their life that is thousands a miles away will make the right decision :)


The Black Swan
For my anniversary with my beloved soul mate, I made him watch the Black Swan with me. I have to say it's like the girl version of the fight club, except less fighting and more dancing. The emphasize of perfection is unbelievably symbolic and a total representation of some people I know. when I see Natalie Portman's portrayal of this innocent ballet dancer, I see some of my friends, acquaintances, classmates, and family. Everyone is so obsess with perfection such as: getting into the top schools, trying to be the beauty queen, the attention whore, etc. I see them battling their own demons as well as putting down other people to make themselves feel superior. At the end, I see tears run down their cheeks, attempts of suicide, and self hate. Countless times these people stare at me and ask this one ridiculous question: "who are you?" I swear it just makes me feel like Mila Kunis from this movie.
I believe that the more you chase perfection, the more you get failure. The more you believe that you are the one to change the world, the more likely that the world wouldn't change. That is the reality, but if you concentrate on what you are given, and take your time to work on it, you might get something better than what you ask for. what I am saying is that instead of expecting perfection, why not take what's imperfect and make it into something better.
If you want proof of this whole perfection theory I formulated from Black Swan, then go check out Picasso's painting. If it weren't for the imbalance shapes, abstract coloration, and twisted imagery it probably be stuck in a closet waiting to rot. However, Picasso created art that skews away from realism and perfection that it ends up to be inspiring and thought provoking. therefore, he became the icon that every art students or any students stuck with general eds have to read about.

Merry Late Christmas!!!

Hey peeps Merry Late ass freaken Christmas

Gosh I'm always late on posting for the holidays, sowwy about that peeps. Here are some animal pics for you to say "awwwwwwwwwwwwwww how cute"

My Border collie Tux from California

My Holland Lop rabbit Mochi who travels the world with me :)

My Australian Shepherd on the left Kimba, who lives in New Orleans Louisianna.

On the right is Kimba's new friend Marley dog who came to visit for Christmas

I Escaped Plastic surgery this Christmas break!!

If you know my parents, you will know that they are major perfectionist. they expect nothing, but the best, and if they can't have the best, they will kill for it. To them, life is not about happiness, love, or living the moment, it's about finding the flaws and fixing it, so you can be perfect. During lunch, my parents told me that they don't like the way I look. They wanted to make drastic changes such as eyes, nose, and skin procedures. They told me to get ready for a trip to the plastic surgeon's office after lunch, which scared the shiet out of me. My mom also made an appointment with the make up artist and stylist after recover, scary eh!! Their goal was to make me this ultimate asian girl that all wealthy billionaire asian family wants their spoil sons to marry. After lunch, my mom had to run some errands, but she assured me that she will be back to take me to the plastic surgeon's office. I was angry and shocked beyond believe, that I called up my friends and ask if I could run away to their house for safety. After getting permission, I packed my stuff, feed the pets, and run off.

My dad asked me if I still wanted the procedures and make over, and I responded with a stern "no." I told him straight up that my fiance loves me for who I am, and he will be piss if we make any changes and get me married off. I also told him that my fiance will hunt them down and kick their asses if they proceed to these malevolent changes. Luckily my parents were smart enough to respect my wishes, but it sucked that they kept saying stuff like "if you have gotten the procedures and make over, you would have been able to marry a wealthy man right away." Afterwards, they just smiled and shook their heads sighing "naive girl!!"

Borders have weird people sometimes

So I was reading something on my laptop and then I looked up and notice this fat Italian chick. This chick had black, greesy, curly hair, food stuck between her teeth, and equals the size of two tables put together, but that's not the worse part. She has her laptop on and was on the phone talk in a very sexy, sultry, alluring voice. For some weird reason, people were quietly reading at borders instead of chitter chatting as usual. That totally made it worse because all I would be hearing is this fat chick having phone sex with some dude. I decided to be a weirdo, and eve drop on her conversation, and here is what I heard

"So what are you wearing? What are you like? do you have a house? do you have a car? are you still single? are you rich? Oh you look so nice, etcc"

I'm like, this does not sound like a boyfriend, WEIIIIRRD!!!

so I decided to sneak over there and take a glimpse at what she was staring at on her laptop, maybe I could get some clues on who she's talking to. I quietly walked behind her, pretending to grab a napkin, then I peaked over her shoulders, and couldn't believe my innocent little eyes. She was on a dating website, looking at a profile of this guy she was talking to, total FAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fun Addicting things to do

Moola

This is an addicting way of making money, but it's really hard. Moola will give you a free penny which you would use to gamble. You will play games against other users, if you win, you get another penny. That would equals to two pennies, if you win again, you will get 4 pennies, win again, 16 pennis, etc....

If you lose all your pennies, don't worry, moola will always give you a free penny, so you don't have to invest your own money.

www.moola.com

if you can't find the sign up button, just leave a comment on my blog with your name and email address, and I will send you an invite :)

Robot Unicorn Attack

This is a very simple and addictive game that my friend sent to me. The goal of the game is to guide the unicorn through various obstacles and earn points. You push "Z" to jump and "X" to attack the solid star in your way. You have three tries, so if you run into the wall or the solid star, you will use up one try. After using up all three tries, the game will total up your points. You can play as many times as you want. I recommend using the facebook application so you can compete with your friends :).

Give it a try, trust me you will be hooked on it!!

note to all guys out there considering this game: it only makes you more manlier !!!

http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html

Dumb Pets Comics

I know that I was suppose to post up those funny comics after every post, but I decided to do something totally different and spontaneous.

so stay tune!!!!!!!!!!!

What is sex??

What is Sex????

I enjoy creating these comics about my stupid dog and dumbface rabbit. I think I will create comics for every post I make :)

How to get a Celeb's attention

I don't use twitters all the time, but when i found out that you can actually send twits to celebrities, I decided to get my ass off the chair and learn the game. So I saw this tv show called walking dead, and saw this amazing asian actor in there. I felt that he was extremely awsome that I gotta get on twitter and try to twit him. So I went on twitter, and twitted to the guy about how amazing he is, unfortunately, I didn't get a response. So I end up twitting him again in hopes he would twit back. Then I read some of his twits and notice that he either talks to people he knows or obsessive crazy fans that probably would kill themselves if he don't say hi.

However, I will not go that insane and demand a response or else serious consequences will happen. Also, I will not waste my time to do extensive background research on him. But if any of you out there who are obsess with a certain celebrity and would do anything for him or her to talk to you, don't count on being a normal, sincere fan, cuz it ain't gonna work

Here are the steps to get that celebrity to twit you back, without sounding insane and scaring them off.

1) Research the celebrity's twitter account and find out who he knows and who he talks to

2) Try to find a person whom he or she is friends with but don't talk to alot. Probably someone who he went to highschool, college, or work with but don't talk to anymore, and do a background check on them to see what relationship they have with the celeb.

3) try to find schedules and appearance that the celebrity have gone to

4) once you found everything twit this: "Hey there, how you doing, I saw one of your performances last week, and it was wonderful. I took my friend with me, and she/he saw you on stage and said that he/she knows you from "highschool, college, work, etcc". Her/his name is "so and so," let me know if you know him/her."

5) once celeb twits back and said he knows her/him, you are in DA GAME

6)once the celeb start paying attention to you, try to slowly diverge the convo away from his past friend, so the celeb can get to know you instead.

7) try to develop a friendship slowly. In order to do that, don't talk too much about his movies or his performances, emphasize more on his personal life.

8) once friendship is developed, give him your number, and have him call you

9) talk on phone, have fun, try to click with him

10) Then meet him in person

11) have fun hopefully you and the celeb would start dating, get marry, and have kids. Watch out for the papperazzis.

Fart

My Life with Dumb pets

Fighting My Own Demons

I'm very prone to hallucinations especially during stressful times. That is why I leave my lamp on after turning off the light. If another person is there with me, then I wouldn't mind sleeping in complete darkness. If I go to sleep alone with the lights completely off, I would hallucinate weird demonic figures and as a result I wouldn't get any sleep. I really want to get help, but my parents are against psychiatric medicine. My dad always tell me, if you hallucinate just ignore it, and it will go away.

Recently, I been having these hallucinations that are driving me crazy. One morning I woke up with a 70 pound German shepherd on my bed. I could even feel the pressure on the bed and the presence of the dog. She was gentle, but frightening at the same time, and then she vanished. At first i thought it was post traumatic stress disorder, where I relieve the experience of my dog getting hit by a car, but I realize it was something more than that. I had dreams about dog like figures and wolves appearing. I had very strange hallucination from time to time of a wolf randomly appearing in my room. I feel like these hallucinations mean something very important. They are very majestic hallucination, and I know they meant something meaningful. Since I promise my parents that I wouldn't see a psychiatrist, I decided to battle my own demons.

I did something dangerous, I decided to stress myself out and isolate myself, so I can see the dog and the wolf, and to know why they been showing up recently.

I guess this is another journey to self-madness, but it's time I truly look these hallucination in the eye and really talk to them.

Hilda and Kimba's debate about sexual discrimination

I was studying at the Loyala library in New Orleans Louisianna, and pissed at myself for missing class. I hope Harvard isn't piss, but hey I'm catching up on my studies. I really don't know if looking at fail blog counts as studying, but who cares everyone is doing it. Anyways, i drank too many green tea and had to use the bathroom. I walked in and saw this girl dialing her little pink phone. I guess its a good idea to talk in the bathroom since it would be rude to talk in the library, how thoughtful of her. Then she walked into one of the bathroom stalls and closed the door. I was like ok maybe she wanted some privacy, that's understandable. However that is not the case!!!

Here's the convo, her phone was so loud that I can hear her and the person on the phone from two stalls away.

girl: hey Rick, how you doing

Rick: I'm good where are you

girl: I'm in the library

Rick: hey umm you wanna go out after the library

~girl starts peeing and farting really loud

girl: ok

Rick: ummm I think I'm busy, can't go bye

~girl walks out of the stall sobbing

I was in total shock, she just got asked out and rejected at the same time while peeing. That's just amazing, I mean what's next someone discover a cure for cancer while peeing. Anyways, I know for sure that if it was Rick in the stall talking on the phone, and it was his piss and big fart, there would still be a date tonight. Sigh, it's funny how society still operates on the notion that it's ok for a guy to fart and piss in front of a girl, but it's not ok when a girl does it. It's true that women are now allow to vote, express their opinions, and have a place in politics, but until women are allow to fart and pee in front of a guy with dignity, I'm sorry to say sexual discrimination have not improved.

Holy shiet my fiance's dog Kimba Hollowface Luk decided to debate against me. Fine bitch you are going down

Kimba: Hey I just read what you wrote on the blog

Hilda: really, what do you think about the whole topic

Kimba: Well I totally disagree with you and I want to say something

Hilda: why because you are dumb. You tried to fight with air and ran into the door instead. Well too bad you are not saying anything in this blog

Kimba: Grrrrrr Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Brandon: shut up Kimba

Hilda: fine I will allow you to say something, so you don't annoy me and Brandon

Kimba: Brandon think it's cute and adorable when I fart and he always praise me when I pee outside. Since I get so much approval for farting and peeing outside in front of him, and since I am a girl, therefore, sexual discrimination have improved.

Hilda: so umm does the tree know that you are having an affair with the ironing board?

Man's best friend

dogs are man's best friend, they are always there for you through thick and thin. They will always lie next to you, gaze into your eyes, and listen to every word you have to say.
Then there is Kimba, a whole nother story, enjoy :)


Kimba wuvs candy





Never question Kimba



Kimba is very thoughtful