Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I cheated on my diet coke

I know a lot of people out there would rather have the plain coca cola rather than Diet coke. I have to admit Diet coke is an acquired taste, but once acquired it will rock your world. I don't know what's the deal with diet coke, but it makes eating a juicy hamburger taste ten times juicier. every time I do something, I just crave for diet coke. I crave for something tingly on my tongue and refreshing during the day without the sense of feeling guilty like you would if you drank a regular coke. I guess having the word "Diet" in there is a pretty good tactic for fat chicks losing weight or skinny girls with a conscience. I for one is the skinny girl with the conscience and drinking diet coke keeps Jiminy cricket quiet. After several months of swimming in diet coke, I realize that I gained some pounds, feel tire, and now I got this weird annoying sweetness in my mouth. I know that everyone wants sugar in there mouths because it makes them feels happy and energize, but having it all the time is disgusting. I decided to give up diet coke, and replace it with healthy drinks like orange juice. At first, it felt pretty encouraging, like a smoker who just lasted one day without his cigs. Then after the second day, I can swear to god the can of diet coke in the fridge was talking to me. Here is what it said:

diet coke: Hilda do you still love me?
me: of course I do
diet coke: Then why are you never in here holding me and kissing me
me: I'm sorry I been busy
diet coke: lies, you been with this orange dude haven't you, sucking up all his juices.
me: No, I haven't, I swear
diet coke: Don't lie to me, it's over between us
me: oh no, please I still love you
diet coke: do you?
me: yes I do, I will do anything for you
die: Then drink me

Sigh, after that conversation I ended up making love with diet coke. I swear I was trap in an unhealthy relationship. Then one day I met my ultimate soul mate:
Izze drink, you are the love of my life. The first time I met you and get a taste of you, I felt a healthy relationship have came upon us. It is your pure natural fruity side combine with your badass carbonated water side that made you a healthy delicious drink. Because of Izze I have officially kicked my diet cook addiction to the side.

Do it naturally or don't do it at all
My roommates and I decided to spend the entire day and night watching the whole season of The Tudors. For anyone out there who have never seen The Tudors before, let me give you a little synapse. The movie is based off of The Other Boleyn Girl or the history of Henry VIII. Basically King Henry VIII was trying to bore a son, but Queen Catherine couldn't bore one. He got frustrated and decided to have an affair with the Boleyn sisters, then comes a lot of political drama and mayham. At first I thought watching this show would be like watching these old boring historical films about history, politics, and war. Boy was I in for a little surprise, I had no idea that the Brits can get down the dirty. The whole show felt like I was watching British porn, there is no way that politics in british history, even in Henry VIII era can be this scandalous.

One of the scenes that really got me going is when this guy and a girl were talking all proper and British in the beautiful outdoor forest. Then all of a sudden they both strip down naked and have sex. It just made me think if I were to strip down outdoors, I wouldn't be able to have sex. I be too conscience that the birds and the bees would be watching. However, The Tudors made it extremely sexy to the point where fucking outside is the new fad. As I kept staring at the scene and noticing my roommates drooling, I couldn't help but think that it's unbelievable how they make this so natural without being conscience that people are watching their naked bottoms? How in the world do they make it seem so artful without it being awkward?

I remember being reminded countless times about my rambunctious youth. I was only three years old back then and out of boredom I would strip down naked and run around the mall. My parents would chase after me yelling bloody murder, while all the shoppers would point and laugh their asses off. It's just beautiful that the naked individual does not give a shiet that being exposed in public is wrong.

I'm not trying to say go take off your clothes and run out there naked because you will either get raped or arrested. I'm just saying if you are ever obligated to do something to fit in, either walk away and not do it out of dignity or do it without feeling conscience about it. For example if you are a guy and you want the lead role in a Peter Pan play, but in order to get that you must wear tights. If you are going to wear tights, wear it with pride so your audience wouldn't find you awkward. Make them feel that you are one with the girly tights. Then at the end, everyone will perceive you as the work of art instead of a gay lor.

Three Shows that You Must Watch Without Hesitation!!!

Modern Family
OMG, How do I begin? gay couple adopted an asian baby, Old man married to a young sexy Columbian with a young son who acts so fucken old, and a dumbass married to a control freak with three strange kids. Fuck, this is genius why haven't I thought about this, oh wait that's because I was busy on hulu watching this.

Everybody Hates Chris
Remember Chris Rock, well this is a representation of his early childhood. He made me feel like I'm not the only scape goat in this world. If any of you out there who grew up with me, you will know that I was always the blame for everything. I was even blamed for 9/11, assassination of President Richard Nixon, Hiroshima bomb, Hurricane Katrina, Global warming, extinction of dinosaur, etc . hail to Chris Rock who showed us that all child scapegoats grows up to be successful people :)

The Game
This is almost like Real House wives, but it's just a bunch of women married to football players and causing drama at the same time. Hmm makes me wonder if they will ever create a reality show or tv show about people marry to doctors and causing drama.

Dumb Pets


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