Thursday, January 27, 2011

Year of the Rabbit

It's the year of the rabbit and Mochi is the star. She has been my companion and lucky charm. She's this charming little woodland creature that took forever to be potty trained. She is this little instigator that always gets Kimba in trouble. She is a needy little girl who always stick to my like glue. But most importantly she is my companion that conquers the world with me one shiet at a time.

How to Classify Yourself?

If you are thinking about how to figure out if you are gay or straight then this is not the topic for you, but please stick around because this could be useful for you. I was chatting with a good friend of mine about how some people are extremely lucky and how others are just down right curse from the start of birth. My friend made me think long and hard about how cruel life is that I came up with a classification to destroy to end the misery. Through all my observations on different people I came across during different stages of my life, here is what I came up with:

Person A
If you are person A, you tend to be the lucky individual. You always get what you want without lifting a finger. You never study for a single test and manage to get an A by just bubbling the first letter that comes out of your head. You get promoted without hardly doing anything while your colleagues work their asses off and get fired for it at the same time. You can get away with just lifting your middle finger at the boss, and who knows the boss might throw a hundred dollar bill at you for doing it. Basically, you are the individual that everyone wants to be.

However, life is not perfect, so you aren't either. Despite your good lucky streak, there lurks a dark cloud that await to strike. You never know when darkness strikes in your life, but when it does, you hit deeper than rock bottom. Because life has been a paradise, you are more likely to live carelessly. Therefore, this one mistake, where you don't get away with it, will tear you up. This dark cloud will randomly flow into your life and fuck your life up so hard that you will lose your job, your wife, your house, and everything. Then you would try to kill yourself or kill others, leading to the visit to the therapist office. Don't believe me, well go look at Edison Chen, famous singer in Hong Kong, have rich family, girls chasing after him, and in a committed relationship with the niece of some rich ass CEO. Then some computer hacker hacked into his computer and leaked scandalous photos of him and other female celebrities having sexual intercourse. As a result, he lost so much money and respect from Hong Kong that he had to leave to another country to lay low. His life is a wreck and it's going downhill as we speak. He lost all his sponsorship and majority of his money, he even resorted to suicide.

If you are classified as person A, then I say live life carefully. it's great being showered with luck, but remember it only takes one hit of bad luck and your life is over, and you might as well kill yourself because you can't fix it. For example, if you are going to a party where cocaine is involve, I think it's best to stay out of that party despite your constant luck of getting away with shiet. Who knows this might be the day where you get caught and go to jail. Person A's dark cloud is ten times worse than person B and person C.

Person B
If you are person B, then I feel so bad for you. What am I talking about I'm person B, so we might as well suffer together. Person B is a type of person who works so hard, but achieve so little or not at all. He or she never gets away with anything, he is the speeding car that gets pulled over despite all the other speeding cars around him not getting pulled over.
Person B loses all the time and is usually the nice guy who finishes last, but atleast they don't lose everything like Person A does.
The awsome part about person B is when they win, they really win. Imagine an addictive gambler who loses ten dollars constantly during a game of Black Jack. However, this individual is so determine that he is willing to keep losing in hopes of winning big eventually. He end up losing about ten thousand dollars, but he kept going despite people around him begging him to stop. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere, he put down the ultimate card, and boom he's walking home with millions of dollars. Thus the basic philosophy of person B is lose all the time but in small quantities, and win big, but infrequently.
If you are person B, then keep working hard and don't give up. Keep taking risk despite losing or being caught. The good part about this classification is that if you get in trouble or mess up, you can totally fix it, it's not the end of the world. It only takes one chance and one good risk, and you are pretty much set for life. Your opportunities are endless, but it requires you to work your ass off. You are pretty much like those R&B singers who lived in poor neighborhoods and get beat up for walking the streets, then one day you got discover and is now living in a mansion.

Person C
Person C is the average Joe, he neither fails or succeed, nothing exciting ever happens to him. He gets exactly what he puts in. The only advice for person C is work hard and stay out of trouble then he will live an average semi-successful boring life. I have nothing against this person, I'm just saying it's hard to learn life's meaningful lesson with this type of classification. One of the most important thing that this individual should get out of life is to talk to person A and B. Person C is just an average person and will always be, there is nothing more to say about him.

Super Bowl
I never knew why guys are so loud during football games. They yell with pleasure every time some dude gets his ass tackled by a bunch of dudes or that dude made a touch down. I also notice that guys are extremely quiet during sex or watching straight porn. Maybe guys have some sort of gayness in them that they are afraid of admitting, since they scream pleasurably at a group of guys on top of each other.
I decided to find out why guys go crazy over football, and what better time to do that than watching the superbowl with my roommates. Before the superbowl there is this whole rituals a guy actually does. They cooks, make pizza, chips, dips, and chop stuff. They basically do all the things that women normally do on a daily basis. maybe they are trying to get into the women role awaiting for the fantasy about getting pumble by a bunch of hotasses with six packs.
Sounds gay, but I decided to keep exploring the meaning of football. My roommate turned towards me and ask "what color you choose black or green" and I said "I would pick black because I love wearing black." Then he quickly responded "good, because you are rooting for the Steelers and we are going to root for the Green Bay Packers." I was confuse about this, but decided to go along with it, what can I say, I'm up for anything new.
So we sat down with all our food and beers and eagerly await for the game. For some weird reason, these strange exciting instinct came over me where I kept yelling "Green bay sucks, go fuck yourself." My roommates retaliated by shouting stuff against the Steelers. I found myself cussing at the television everytime the Greenbay tackled the Steelers or the Greenbay made a touch down. I also yelled with joy when the Steelers score a touch down and catching up. At the end the Greenbay won and I fell in a state of depression. Honestly, why the hell did I get depress for, I don't know who the Steelers were, they meant nothing to me.
I don't know what came over me, I don't know if it was the beer or the dips, but holy shiet it was a rush to see a bunch of guys running around with a lemon shaped ball. I guess football is a rush where you designate a certain team to win, and if they don't the world will be invaded by pink dinosaurs.


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